Sunday, October 2, 2011

parenting dilemma

Once in a while, it would be nice to know that Chris supports the way that I discipline my kids. While I love them to death, i am not going to let them walk all over me and they are trying to start that.
He doesn't like it when I swat bottoms. Honestly, I don't like it either, because I have to hit harder than i am comfortable with to do any good. Chris doesn't approve of me smacking their mouth when they talk back either. Timeout is a waste. It doesn't phase either of my girls in the slightest way. Tonight, I made Cailin give me a quarter back for not listening to me and even that was an unacceptable form of punishment. I am at my witts end. I need to do something different. I need to make them know that I mean business and they need to listen. I don't want to be a hitler type of authoritarian, however, i would like to have some control. Chris doesn't see what i see all day long. It is a lot different for us because he is working all day while I am home with Cailin and Malia all day. He doesn't see them giving attitudes. he doesn't see them talking mean to each other and to me. He doesn't see it when I ask them 85 times to do something and it still isn't done.
I'm not sure what i need to do to get chris on the same page as I am, but something really needs to be done. SOON.

Friday, June 27, 2008

No more babysitting for you!

My in laws that is... they pissed me off to the point where I am not going to have them babysit for me anymore!!!
I have been teaching 5-6 times a month. I teach CPR and first aid classes for Red Cross. While Roger and Billie are here, I have been having them babysit Cailin. Yesterday was one of those days. The whole day started bad. I had told them to show up at 10. I had to leave at 1015 for work. They show up at 9:30. I had just stepped out of the shower. My clean underwear that I needed to wear for the day is on the main floor of the house (where they were standing) in my laundry room. My bathrobe DOES NOT cover me up anymore. I get out of a nice shower, cleaned up, and had to put on sweaty PJ's to go down and get clean clothes. That felt great.
I got my clothes and went back upstairs. I am the type of person, if I start getting ready at 930, with the plan that I have to be ready at 10, then it is hard to get everything done to be ready at 945 instead… I just can’t work that way. I had to get myself and Cailin both ready. I thought I was making good progress when at 945, I was downstairs getting Cailin dressed. Roger and Billie kept saying “are you ready yet? Is Cailin ready to go yet? Finally, I had to tell them that we weren’t going to be ready till about 10 after 10. I was trying to hurry, but there was just a bunch to have to do. She needed to brush her teeth, get shoes and socks on, and brush her hair…. And I had to get her diaper bag ready still. Cailin wasn’t being horribly difficult, but then again, she wasn’t all too cooperative either. That is normal for Cailin though. I had planned this into my amount of time to get ready thing. Finally she is ready. I start loading her diaper bag as well as my bag for work as well. I put something into the diaper bag, and then saw something that I was going to need for me, so I stopped and threw that into my bag which was next to the diaper bag. Billie grabs the diaper bag and tells me she is going to put it out in the car. I take it back and tell her that I am still loading it up, and to please wait. This is why I wanted them here at 10 and not 930. I want to be dressed and ready to go when someone shows up to babysit or what ever the cause. My mom was always telling me to hurry up when I was getting ready for school and it was annoying… just because I wasn’t ready and waiting 10 minutes before I needed to be ready, she was always telling me ‘hurry up’ when I wasn’t even late. Now that I am a grown woman, I don’t need someone else doing the same thing to me. Anyway, I tell them the bag is ready. I show Billie where Cailin’s Motrin is and also the sun block. I ask her to make sure she puts the sun block on Cailin if they are outside. Roger scoops up Cailin and whisks her out the door. I say wait a minute; I would like to at least give her a hug and a kiss before I go. I pick her up (to which Billie tells me I shouldn’t be lifting her: eye roll… I know what I can and can’t do). I asked Cailin if she wanted me to buckle her into her car seat. She said yes. I am glad I did… it wasn’t hooked in the car correctly at all. If you don’t know how to install the car seat properly, DON”T DO IT!!! Or ASK SOMEONE WHO DOES… this is a MAJOR safety thing. I fix the car seat and try to show them how it goes and then hook Cailin in, give her hugs and kisses and then they are on their way. They left at 10:10. I left at 10:20. Just like I had planned. They were taking Cailin to Billie’s mom’s house which they are trying to pack everything up to sell it.
I go to my dr appt, and then to work. I finish right at 2, meet Chris and head towards where they were. We called and told them we were on our way, but also told them we hadn’t had anything to eat all day so we were going to go through a drive thru and grab some lunch, we would be there in about 45 minutes. We get there around 3ish. Cailin runs out and is eating a cinnamon roll thingy from McDonalds. I wasn’t overly surprised because they said they were going there for breakfast. Cailin loves to get McDonalds Pancakes. After we get there, the guys load up stuff into the truck that they need to take to the dump. Then Billie tells me they hadn’t had any lunch and were waiting for us… how about if the guys take stuff to dump, and then girls ride separately and we all meet at this taco place for ‘lunch’. We told them we were going to stop and eat on the way… and why is Cailin not eating till 3:30… that will make dinner fun. And why is she eating an entire ORDER of cinnamon rolls things from McDonalds if she hasn’t had lunch. Turns out she had breakfast of McDonald’s chicken nuggets at 11. What a nutritious day right? I didn’t give her breakfast before they left because they said they were going to get her pancakes. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything. This taco place we were going to go to was an equally nutritious place to eat. On the way there, Billie is telling me everything they did while I was working. They were busy. Cailin too! I noticed Cailin had some added color on her little arms and asked Billie if she remembered the sun block. She said she didn’t put any on her because they were in the shade. I saw where they were working in the yard… it isn’t shady. Most of the outside where they were is not shady. She needs something to protect her little skin. I am sorry, tan lines on a 2 year old are not cute in any way. Cailin wasn’t burnt by any means, but she did get some sun. I tried to keep my tone light, but I told Billie “I told you she needed sun block on when she was outside… you can get the exposure even in the shade”. Cailin was looking sleepy. I asked if she had a nap and Billie said they were too busy and she didn’t. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything.
We get to the taco joint and Cailin didn’t eat anything… it was either because she just had all the cinnamon rolls or the stuff was too spicy hot… or both. She was also sleeping when we got there. I tell Billie I am going to get her out of the car and try to keep her asleep if possible since she hadn’t napped. As soon as I pick her up, Billie is rubbing Cailin’s arms trying to wake her up to ask her if she is hungry. It worked. She woke up. On the way back to the house, Billie tells me they are going to stay there and work a bit more. I think to myself this is a good idea, I can get Cailin a nap, even though it is late and it will be a short one. We get back to the house. I fight Cailin for 20 minutes to get her to calm down and to get to sleep. Once she quiets down, I go out to the garage where Roger, Billie and Chris were working. I thought I was being nice when I said “Cailin normally is tired enough to nap around 130 or 2 ish. From now on when you are watching her, would you please try to get her down for a nap? It makes it really hard later that night and the following day when she doesn’t nap”. I thought I was being nice. Billie tells me in her little sing-song voice “well, we were just having too much fun. We want to have as much fun with Cailin as possible; we don’t want her to have to nap when she is with us”. I told her again how hard it is at night and the next day. Cailin is so tired and fights everything, gets spanked, I end up in tears and it is just not worth it, she needs to nap. Roger pipes in “well, we don’t have to deal with her when she is like that”. I wanted to reach over and smack the shit out of him. I am glad there was a flat bed trailer between the two of us. It isn’t like she is 10 years old and can go without a nap… she is 2. I don’t know many 2 year olds that can go with no nap at all. You would think that they would agree to let her nap so she doesn’t get run down and get sick…. again… but nope, not them. They just want to have fun with her. I was pissed. I was pissed enough that I wasn’t going to stay in the garage and help them. I told them I was going to go inside and listen for Cailin incase she woke and needed me. I thought it was incredibly rude they would deny a parents request to give the child a nap when she needs it.
I sat in the living room fuming. Chris came in and checked on me. I was close to tears because once again, I am the moody, irrational daughter in law. They like Steph… she doesn’t “pick fights” and will let things go a lot more than I do. I was brought up that if something isn’t right, you fight to fix it… and that is what was going to do with the care for my daughter. I didn’t argue on everything. I bit my tongue when she was running through the dirty garage with no shoes on. When I say dirty, I don’t mean dirt on the floor; I mean who knows what is on the floor… metal pieces of things, broken flower pots…. I didn’t say anything about the wonderful diet that she had and the fact they almost skipped lunch for her. I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t worth it. But I was going to argue about the nap. Oh, before I left the garage, Billie did make it clear that she was not going to put Cailin down for a nap on the days they babysat. They wanted to spend all the time playing.
When Chris came in to check on me, I told him that I was trying to be nice, but that it was rude that they wouldn’t agree to do the ONE request that I had. He told me that I was rude to them. Why is it that when there is a battle between me and his parents, he sides with them? (I asked later, long story, big argument). On the way home, I came up with a simple solution… I am not having them babysit any more. If Deana can’t do it, then no one will. I know Deana makes sure Cailin naps. She has seen Cailin on her bad days. I don’t HAVE to teach. It is my adult time away… I am not doing it because we need the $$.
I didn’t think my request was too bad… I had 2 small ones that they chose not to follow. Both of them are not that hard. They are not made to make it ‘no fun for grandma and grandpa’. 1. Is it really too hard to spray sun block on a child so they can have healthy skin later in life, and 2. If you see your grandchild as much as they are seeing Cailin, and hour and a half worth of a nap while she is with you isn’t going to KILL YOU!!!!!! They lost their baby sitting privileges.
Please be honest with me… am I being irrational from lack of sleep and pregnancy, or would this bother you too????

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Laundry Strike

chris might get mad at me when he gets home. i did ALL the laundry in the house today EXCEPT the stuff that he threw on the floor!!! There is a pile of HIS stuff in front of his dresser, another pile on the cradle, another on the floor on the bathroom.
I don't think there was ONE single thing that belongs to him in the laundry and i don't care. This is the 3rd week that i have done this. We have a hamper in our room. He is just too lazy to put clothes in it. i am just waiting for him to run out of underware!!!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Not Spoiling me

DO NOT tell me that you want to take my daughter away from me so you can spoil me. This is not the way to do it. It is not going to make me happy. I am happy when I am with her. She has the biggest smile that will brighten my days. She can tell if I am sad and comes and gives hugs and kisses without being asked. She is my pride and joy. Giving me a "bunch of days off" to "spoil me" isn't the way to do it... come cook for me. Clean my house, do my laundry, but DO NOT tell me that you are going to take my daughter for a while to "spoil me"!!!!!!

Sheesh, my in-laws can be soo frickin retarded. I understand they want to spend time with Cailin, but why can't they spend time with cailin while i am around? Why do they have to claim they want to spoil me... they don't. They just want to have an excuse to have cailin to them selves.

I know I should not be so paranoid, but with all the nakedness issues at their house at Thanksgiving, and then ther eis still that comment that was said 2 years ago that i don't think i will ever forget, i am a little hesitant!! When Cailin was first born, Billie made a comment "I can't wait to get some time alone with Cailin so we can do things with her OUR way". If you know that someone says this about your child, how inclined to leave that child with them would you be?
There are other issues other than that comment... like the fact they think she needs to 'munch' all-day-long... and then wonders why she doesn't eat her meals... or the last time that i did ask them to babysit. i asked if they would take her downstairs to the play room and let her play there. I was told "I don't think you are going to get Roger away from the games on TV tonight". If that is the case, why did you bother to offer to babysit... you have to INTERACT with a child you are taking care of... not just let them run on their own. Play with them, give them hugs, let them know they are more important than some stupid ass football game on TV. (This was in January). I had told them, "There is a brocoli chicken casserold in the fridge for Cailin for dinner". We come home, they chose to give her 2 hotdogs instead of something NUTRITIOUS that she LIKES!!! Hotdogs are fine once in a while, but if you are going to igve them to her, for God sakes, try to remember she isn't even 2 yet. You can not give it to her whole, and let her bite chunks off... that is the PERFECT choking size for her. they need to be cut into quarters first.

Gee, tell me again why am I so paranoid to give them time alone with my daughter when they are her Grandparents?

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Stop, you sound like an Idiot

Why is it that some people feel the need to talk about something that they know NOTHING about and pretend that they know what they are talking about... they sound like an idiot when they do this.

Back in December, Cailin was on antibiotics for UTI. She had been off of her medicine for about 3 days when we went to a slumber party. Some stupid parents thought it would be a good idea to send their daughter who was showing flu like symptoms after the rest of the family was sick the day before. I caught the flu from the girl. So did Melody. It was a pain. I was shocked that Cailin didn't get it as well. I mentioned that to Chris and he tells me that the reason that she didn’t get it is because she just came off of antibiotics. Antibiotics wouldn’t help prevent the flu, antibiotics work on bacteria, and the flu is a virus… antibiotics have absolutely nothing to do with Cailin not getting sick. Chris insisted that they probably still helped a little. I had to drop the subject. I am glad the conversation was just between the two of us. He was starting to make a fool of himself.

A week before Christmas, we were over Grandma’s house. Bailey has be itching, scratching, and digging at her skin for months and months… maybe even years. She has a food allergy that is showing through her skin. Grandma is always giving her table scraps so she is always itching. Now that Grandma is in a nursing home, Billie is taking care of Bailey. I am glad. She took bailey to the vet. Not the same ancient vet that grandma was using who has not had any continuing education classes in probably 50 years, but instead, a younger one who is significantly more up to date on modern practices. The night before the appointment, Kyle was in town as well. We were sitting around the living room talking and Kyle kept insisting that bailey just needed to be “dipped”. I asked him why he thought that. He said “Look at her skin. It is obvious that she just needs a good dipping”. Okay, you need to stop, you are sounding like an idiot! Kyle has a degree in engineering, not anything to do with medicine. The ONLY reason that you would ‘dip’ a dog is if they have mange. Bailey does not have mange. If you dipped her right now, she would be in so much pain because of how raw her skin is. It would solve nothing. They take the dog to the vet and they do some blood work as well as give her a shot of cortisone to calm her skin. We find out 2 days later that along with food allergies, she also has a condition called Hypothyroidism. She told me that the dog is now ONLY eating dog food, except she gets a piece of ham with her thyroid medicine. If the dog keeps breaking out, she is going to have to eliminate the ham as well… I can’t see that happening though. Bailey is more energetic now. Go figure… she has her thyroid back in a normal level. Billie tells me that she is more energetic because she is sleeping better and not itching, and her hair is looking better because she has her thyroid level is back in the right area. Not so much. She is energetic because he low thyroid level made her tired, hungry and lazy. She isn’t as itchy because she has cortisone in her system and gets more on a daily basis.

Believe it or not, I do remember a little bit of the stuff I learned with my veterinary technology degree. When someone who has a degree in engineering, or some other thing tries to correct me on something of this, in my eyes, they sound so stupid. It is really annoying. I just needed to vent. Because I know how other people sound, I make sure that if I don’t know about a topic; I either keep my mouth shut or ask questions to learn more about it.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy? New Years?

We were at Chris's grandma's house visiting with his parents as well as aunt janette and uncle don. Things were going well to start. Cailin was tired when we arrived. I tried to lay her down to nap. Chris, uncle don and roger were watching football, and tend to get easily excited. They were LOUD! I had Cailin asleep 3 different times and each time, they would yell about some play on TV and it would wake her up. I finally, tried to leave the room. Cailin cried. I started to walk into the kitchen and Chris asked if she is having trouble falling asleep. My response was probably a bit harsh, but after trying for 45 minutes, I was getting frazzled to say the least. I just responded with "I had her asleep 3 different times, but ya'll kept waking her up when you yell at the TV". Seriously, if you know someone is trying to put a toddler to sleep in a house with paper thin walls where you can hear everything, you would think they could quiet down just a touch. Rogers response had me FUMING for a while!!!!!! He says "football is on, don't expect us to be quiet". I bit my tongue and didn't say anything, but i really wanted to tell him that if he couldn't be courtious enough to help her fall asleep, then he can deal with her when she is tired and grumpy and hitting and kicking. The truth is that Cailin isn't even that bad when she is tired, but it was just really inconsiderate i thought.